Kommasetzung, wortstellung

assets/interactions/cinema_f4r4.ink

@@ -194,12 +194,12 @@ Her: No. It´s fine. You can sit down in the front as well. Just there will be f
     ++ [The bunny flees across the screen]
         Your bunny hops across the screen. You have to be fast and clever and change directions often to get away from the monster chasing you.
         --
-        Soon you are short of breath and turn once more to see the wolf mid air just above you. Maw wide, ready to consume you. The running is over. You only have a second to decide what to do.
+        Soon you are short of breath and turn once more to see the wolf mid-air just above you. Maw wide, ready to consume you. The running is over. You only have a second to decide what to do.
 
         ++ [Accept your fate]
             So you accept your fate and cower the bunny down in a final primal reflex, before the wolf is on top of you and swallows you whole.
 
-            You are blacked out by the shape of it for a moment and can see the hands raised above the seats silhouetted against the rays of beamer light. Maybe it is just the perspective or something but they seem gigantic.
+            You are blacked out by the shape of it for a moment and can see the hands raised above the seats silhouetted against the rays of beamer light. Maybe it is just the perspective or something, but they seem gigantic.
 
             Then the shadow of the wolf moves beside you again. The light punches you in the face and it wags its tail. A voice comes from the back of the room.
 
@@ -437,7 +437,7 @@ Her: No. It´s fine. You can sit down in the front as well. Just there will be f
                 Her: Hmmm. OK? What are you supposed to be?
             ----
         ---
-        Her: I possibly see the tiniest bit of talent here. Maybe if you work at it we could make a show together. If you try to upstage me you are out, though.
+        Her: I possibly see the tiniest bit of talent here. Maybe if you work at it, we could make a show together. If you try to upstage me, you are out, though.
         -> f4r4.apprentice
 * [Try to replicate the wolf]
     You try to figure out how exactly the shape of the wolf is made and to interlock your own fingers to replicate the effect.
@@ -505,7 +505,7 @@ It scuffs its hoofs, rears up and charges you.
 
             As you get back up again you see the shadow unicorn is already on top of you. Trampling you to death instead.
 
-            Her: There, serves you right, you jumping Jack. Are you trying to steal my scene? You know for a moment there I thought this was kind of fun. Tell me: what are your acting references?
+            Her: There, serves you right, you jumping Jack. Are you trying to steal my scene? You know, for a moment there I thought this was kind of fun. Tell me: what are your acting references?
             ++++ [Get impaled]
             ---
         ---
@@ -549,7 +549,7 @@ It scuffs its hoofs, rears up and charges you.
     ++ [Just wanted to make it a bit more interesting.]
         You: Just wanted to make it a bit more interesting.
 
-        Her: Convince me of your acting talent first. We can work-shop it once I have decided you are worth it to share a stage with me.
+        Her: Convince me of your acting talent first. We can workshop it once I have decided you are worth it to share a stage with me.
 
         The unicorn charges again.
 
@@ -575,7 +575,7 @@ It scuffs its hoofs, rears up and charges you.
     * [I actually have a degree in acting.] You: I actually have a degree in acting.
         Her: Well, there is no such thing as a legitimate art adjudication, you know.
     * [I am just a natural.] You: I am just a natural.
-        Her: Ha. Sure thing sweety. Don't talk about a natural, when I´m at the table.
+        Her: Ha. Sure thing sweety. Don't talk about a natural when I´m at the table.
     -
     Her: I can accept this as a first audition, I think. I know I´m hard to impress. The competition is very absent, though. But I think I really saw a bit of style in there. Deep, deep down. Maybe I can make a passable partner of you. Yas. I totally see the vision.
     -> f4r4.snacksharing
@@ -583,7 +583,7 @@ It scuffs its hoofs, rears up and charges you.
 = snacksharing
 You go up the aisle towards the dark silhouette. It is too dark to make much out. When you are a few rows away you see the form move. You see arms and shoulders and above them something which is not the shape of a head.
 
-When you are at her row, she is just stepping out onto the aisle. Her high heeled shoes make no sound on the carpet. She straightens her frilly dress and puts one of the straps that slipped off her shoulder back in its rightful place.
+When you are at her row, she is just stepping out onto the aisle. Her high-heeled shoes make no sound on the carpet. She straightens her frilly dress and puts one of the straps that slipped off her shoulder back in its rightful place.
 
 When you look up to her face, your eyes adjust enough for you to see. A mess of long fingers unfurls itself into the clear shape of two gigantic but delicate hands, bedecked in rings and acrylic nails, growing from a slender neck with a y2K choker.
 
@@ -624,7 +624,7 @@ When you look up to her face, your eyes adjust enough for you to see. A mess of
 + [I think she is scary.]
     You are a little intimidated.
 
-    Her: What? Don't worry, I don't bite. Well, Nah you've seen the worst of my bite down there during the show.
+    Her: What? Don't worry, I don't bite. Well, nah you've seen the worst of my bite down there during the show.
 
     One of her hands faces to the front and forms a snout with three fingers to the front while the Pinky and index finger perk up. She opens and closes the fingers a little as she talks. It looks like someone comically ventriloquising a hand puppet. It doesn't look genuine.